Helpful Valentines Day Tip

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It a bit late, but I couldn’t not post this great opinion column from Valentines day: “Men: Staring at breasts improves your heart health.”

The whole thing is worth reading but I’ll just excerpt the best bits. First, he sets up the justification for his position.

“… A study published in Hot Topics in Hypertension, ays that staring at women’s breasts can increase a man’s life expectancy by 4-6 years. That is really good news to Africans whose life expectancy department is wanting!


The report says that 5 years of monitoring his subjects, the participants who gawped at the boobs had lower blood pressure, better circulation, and less chance of blood clotting than any other group in the study.”

You know it’s true because a “professor of homeopathic medicine at Naples University” did the study.

He then picks up the cause as a truly converted disciple:

“Perhaps men should reconsider the gesture of staring at women and women should stop feeling uncomfortable about it and add it to one of their daily exercise list instead of having to jog and kill themselves lifting weights. After all, the exercise of staring at the boobs requires no energy and is aesthetic in nature …”


“Staring at women is one hobby men cannot resist even if they were preachers. It comes second to soccer. A man can spend the whole day staring at a woman and leave the place smiling with satisfaction like a Cheshire cat. But then, we were created that way – to stare! Do women like it when we stare at them? Not all but a sizeable chunk of them would give anything to capture the attention of a man – especially one that takes their fancy – it flutters them. I have also noticed that when a man stares at a woman, it means he likes what he sees. Women love appreciation. Some will do anything to get noticed.”

Then he ends by letting women in on a big secret:
“What any man would do if his woman is around is pretend not to be looking. You’ll be waiting for a moment to catch a glimpse. Usually you have to hold on and do it when she’s looking away for some reason. That’s the best thing to do, because you get a little sneak peek and she gets to talk to you without feeling uncomfortable.”
And thus ends this helpful bit of Valentine’s Day advice.