Helpful Valentines Day Tip

Photo by wereblog.com

It a bit late, but I couldn’t not post this great opinion column from Valentines day: “Men: Staring at breasts improves your heart health.”

The whole thing is worth reading but I’ll just excerpt the best bits. First, he sets up the justification for his position.

“… A study published in Hot Topics in Hypertension, ays that staring at women’s breasts can increase a man’s life expectancy by 4-6 years. That is really good news to Africans whose life expectancy department is wanting!

 

The report says that 5 years of monitoring his subjects, the participants who gawped at the boobs had lower blood pressure, better circulation, and less chance of blood clotting than any other group in the study.”

You know it’s true because a “professor of homeopathic medicine at Naples University” did the study.

He then picks up the cause as a truly converted disciple:

“Perhaps men should reconsider the gesture of staring at women and women should stop feeling uncomfortable about it and add it to one of their daily exercise list instead of having to jog and kill themselves lifting weights. After all, the exercise of staring at the boobs requires no energy and is aesthetic in nature …”

 

“Staring at women is one hobby men cannot resist even if they were preachers. It comes second to soccer. A man can spend the whole day staring at a woman and leave the place smiling with satisfaction like a Cheshire cat. But then, we were created that way – to stare! Do women like it when we stare at them? Not all but a sizeable chunk of them would give anything to capture the attention of a man – especially one that takes their fancy – it flutters them. I have also noticed that when a man stares at a woman, it means he likes what he sees. Women love appreciation. Some will do anything to get noticed.”

Then he ends by letting women in on a big secret:
“What any man would do if his woman is around is pretend not to be looking. You’ll be waiting for a moment to catch a glimpse. Usually you have to hold on and do it when she’s looking away for some reason. That’s the best thing to do, because you get a little sneak peek and she gets to talk to you without feeling uncomfortable.”
And thus ends this helpful bit of Valentine’s Day advice.

The Safest Form of Birth Control?

I’m traveling to Ivory Coast soon which requires a visa which you have to fill out on-line. I chuckled when faced with this drop down to describe my “Situation.”

Remember - you can only pick one.

Remember – you can only pick one.

(And no, I did not select celibate.)

I also had to chuckle at a typical circular logic moment in the process. To apply for the visa, you need to upload a copy of your flight itinerary. But to book your flight, South African Airways require you to show proof that you have a visa.

It is solved the same way so many things are here — pretending not to notice. The airline gives you a confirmation (not truly a booking) which you upload. Then after you get the visa, you can go back to the airline and actually complete the ticket purchase. It makes no logical sense but as long as it works I guess people just keep doing it.

When I first moved here, this kind of thing would have really incensed me. Almost four years later, you just kind of smile and move past it.

A Lose by any other name would smell as sweet …

The concept of a correct spelling is just not something people subscribe to in Tanzany.

For example, we found a nice lunch spot on our road trip home.

The sign at the gate:

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The signs inside the compound:

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And it happens with people’s names frequently as well. My wife pointed out to one of her employees that he had spelled his name differently on an employee information form than on his government ID. He responded: “What does it matter?”

Driving around a magnificent wildness

Here’s a wheel cover that is pure genius, sent in by an alert reader. The money tagline is a bit hard to read so I’ll transcribe it:

“If you drive around a magnificent wildness in a 4 Wheel drive car, you will encounter a series of tensions and excitements far from your imaginations just like a cowboy who was bravely riding a horse.”

Lodio Drive

I know I should get over the R and L thing, but can’t help passing along little nuggets like this one. I suspect that this one may have been imported though.